Microsoft, go f- yourself.

Politics and sports don't rile me. This is Microsoft, my only lifelong rant.

I just finished wasting four hours trying to log into a Microsoft account I rarely use and am not yet sure I actually have. I can’t even figure out if I’m paying for it.

I want to open a Word document I wrote some years ago to touch up some of my early fiction.

I despise Microsoft.

— The simple act of trying to find and log into my account is currently impossible. They create levels of “security” that require me to remember my first-grade teacher’s maiden name. If I guess wrong a couple of times, they lock me out and encourage me to “try again later.”

“Later” isn’t defined.

— While wrestling to reset my password six or seven times, I had to regurgitate six or seven separate code numbers sent to my phone. To kick my balls, MS won’t allow me to copy those numbers, so I can paste them into my password vault. Like their infamous defiance, “You don't have permission to access this folder,” they haughtily protect me from me.

I smell a legal department.

— Over many years of being a dedicated Windows user and kissing MS’s ass, I have apparently created three separate accounts in attempts to log in. Now, it won’t allow access to any of them unless and until I agree to make Edge my default browser. Trying that, I had to jump through all the login reset hoops again.

— If Microsoft support exists, I can’t find it. Oh, I got the AI chat link and voice support phone number but never reached a human. Everything I try sends me back to the same help page, square one. My situation requires a human explanation. I’ve explained my problem in different words each time. Their static questions don’t allow me to elaborate.

I’m exhausted. I can't access my words. I’ll just have to “try again later,” whatever “later” means.

By the way, I’m old, but I’m not a befuddled computer idiot. I’ve been online for 30 years.

I can’t believe how much time this takes from my creative brain. Today is lost. I give up. Will try again tomorrow.

I’m going to watch Bosch.

Microsoft, go F- yourself.